A Father’s Perspective on CMPI

By Norberto Estanislao

My son Mateo’s journey in music has been mostly something my wife, Lorie, has taken care of. Endless trips to lessons, rehearsals, dress rehearsals, auditions, and more. That all changed at the end of last January. I was about to understand how truly committed Mateo was to attending a university majoring in Music Performance.

I was born in Mexico. Being a professional musician wasn’t a job, but more of a hobby on the weekends. Definitely not something I considered a career path or a job to support your family.

When my wife shared that part of being accepted into CMPI was having a “home visit,” I wanted nothing to do with this. Since it was during Covid it would be on Zoom. It was uncomfortable to have someone I did not know in our home, even on Zoom. One of the previous Student Navigators, Jennifer, explained the program, asked lots of questions, and got to know our family. I sat there quietly until I was put in the spotlight to answer a question. Jennifer asked, “What is your hobby, Norberto?” I responded, “working hard and supporting my family.”

We got a chance to ask some questions. My main concern was how was Mateo going to support himself once he graduated college? In the long term, a family? Jennifer eased my fears. When talking to Lorie later, I had many doubts. I was willing to be open if he was accepted.

Mateo was accepted into CMPI. He was excited. I recall my wife and Mateo going to lessons, on Zoom calls, practicing, practicing, and practicing. As Covid eased, they attended meetings and concerts. It seemed they were never home. Internally, I was questioning the value of all this. What will be the long term outcome? What was Mateo’s back up plan?

As time went on, during his senior year in 2023 he was accepted with a full academic/music merit scholarship to a state school. I was proud of his achievement. We were making plans for us to move him in until the universe had other plans. Mateo tore his ACL that summer. We didn’t know how bad it was until mid-August. He had to have surgery and take a gap year and then reapply.

Last January, my wife asked me to come with them for Mateo’s auditions in Michigan. This is when I realized he may be leaving me and the family. I was told it was helpful to have me there to drop Mateo off at the entranceway and pick him up. At the first university, I had no idea where to park. Later, when I reunited with my wife and son, I was relieved. What I was pleasantly surprised about was the excitement and pride from Mateo about how well his first audition went. His next audition went the same.

At one of the universities they had a recital with the professors performing. I had never been to anything like that. They were amazing musicians. I thoroughly enjoyed the performance. I was beginning to understand Mateo’s passion and career choice from that experience.

As Mateo negotiated with universities, I listened and supported him. It was down to two, and one university offered enough for him to live there. I had many mixed emotions. Sadness that he would be far away. Happy that he could afford attending school. Anxious about what the future holds. Plus a bit frustrated that he wasn’t accepting the offer. Mateo explained to me it was a great university but he wanted the one in Chicago because of the professor. It was extremely important who was going to teach him the next four years. Mateo persevered to get into his first choice university with the best fitting teacher. I admired his ability to negotiate and make college financially feasible.

This summer I attended concerts at two festivals. At the first one, I was much closer to the conductor and musicians. The conductor’s intensity and facial expressions were intriguing. Seeing Mateo perform over the course of three days made me see how passionate and confident he was. The second one was Mateo’s first adult festival. Attending my son’s performance at the Chicago Symphony Center was a totally different experience. Being on the stage with professionals and other adult musicians made this all real for me. I could visualize what Mateo’s future could hold. My understanding has increased about the profession he was pursuing.

Mostly, I was extremely proud of mijo.